


Berg Works at Four Seasons Total Landscaping... and the rest is history

by BloodAndRosesBitch



Category: Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place
Genre: Fluff, Four Seasons Total Landscaping AU, M/M, berg works at four seasons total landscaping, does this count as a crackfic?, pete owns a sex shop, sharon is the owner of the crematorium
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27699371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodAndRosesBitch/pseuds/BloodAndRosesBitch
Summary: Pete is the owner of Fantasy Island Book Store, and Berg has been drooling over him for years. Sharon gets sick of hearing about Pete, and finally forces Berg to talk to him. Chaos (not really that much, no angst here) ensues.
Relationships: Michael Bergen/Pete Dunville
Kudos: 1





	Berg Works at Four Seasons Total Landscaping... and the rest is history

**Author's Note:**

> This was from a prompt on Tumblr from one of my friends! You can find it under the Four Seasons Total Landscaping AU tag on my Tumblr, @asublimelimbo

Berg had been watching the owner of the shop down the street for about a month now. He was handsome, with short, brown hair and inexplicably beautiful eyes that always seemed to be nervous and on the lookout. It made sense, if you considered it for long enough (which Berg had). He was the owner of Fantasy Island Book Store. On the outside, the owner seemed to be a normal guy. He wore nice pants and nice shirts, nothing too fancy and no leisure suits or sweaty wife-beaters. Not what Berg would've expected from an adult bookstore owner. He wasn't even a sleazeball. It was disappointing, but not _too_ disappointing.

At least the guy was cute. They were kind of friends, but Berg didn't even know his name. They'd talked once. Sharon, his oldest friend and owner of Delaware Valley Cremation across the street, had suggested multiple times that he just go up and talk to the owner. Ask him out just so Berg would stop talking about him constantly, and stop making her feel sorry for him.

"I'm just saying, Berg. It's been a month. It's time."

Berg glared at her. "This is a delicate matter, Sharon. You never know if he'll be an absolute creep or not. He could be a serial killer!"

"You're the one who's been watching him for a whole month, Berg. At least call the store or something! I literally cannot listen to you talk about him anymore." Sharon crossed her arms. "Now, I've got a nice couple who's coming in in fifteen minutes, and I need to look at their file again. When I come back for lunch, you better have know this guy's name. Or else I'll march you over there and tell him you're shopping for dildos because you're so lonely that you can't stop drooling over him. He's not even that attractive. I don't understand what you're so worked up about. You pick guys up all the time, no problem."

"I don't understand what _you're_ so worked up about!" Berg whined back at her.

"Call him!" Sharon turned on her shiny blue kitten heel and left before Berg could come up with some other reason not to call him.

He picked up his cell phone, took a deep breath, and went out to the parking lot. If any coworkers heard this call, he'd have to quit his job. He took a deep breath. He dialed the numbers. "Hello?"

"Hello, Fantasy Island Book Store, Pete speaking. How may I help you today?"

"Uh... hi."

"Hi. Did you need something?"

Berg bit his lip. "Um. I need... erotica. For a friend."

"Alright. No shame here. What kind?"

"What kinds... are there?"

Pete -- his name is _Pete_ \-- chuckled. It was adorable. "Well, we have books, obviously. And movies, comics, and some cds."

"How do you have erotica cds?"

Pete cleared his throat. "It's a lot of moaning."

"Ah."

"So? Does any of that sound appealing?"

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I think I'll just come in and get what I need. I'm right across the street anyway."

"See you soon, then!" Pete hung up the phone, and Berg was left standing in the parking lot of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, cellphone smushed to his face, heart beating wildly. Why would offer to come in? Then Pete would know who he was. What he looked like. How he smelled. _Why would he be smelling you?_ Berg asked himself, and got no reply. Well, this was it. Berg took a deep breath, looked both ways, and crossed the street.

Fantasy Island Book Store was a small, run-down, blue building. It had a yellow sign out front, garish and proclaiming its name. Berg walked up the steps and pushed open the flimsy door. A small bell rang, and then over a speaker a woman moaned. Berg frowned.

"Hello! Are you the man from the phone?" Pete asked, then came out from behind the counter and stuck out his hand.

Berg walked up to him. "Yeah, uh. Nice- nice to meet you." They shook hands. "I'm Berg."

"Hey! I know you, we talked once, didn't we?" Pete asked, smiling boldly. Berg nodded. "Right, you saved me from being mugged!"

"I wouldn't put it like that..." Berg said, blushing. He hoped Pete didn't notice.

"So, what erotica did you need?"

Berg laughed. Too loud. "You're so funny--"

Pete frowned at him. "Are you okay?"

"Yes! I mean, not really. We had the president come by last week, for a speech--"

"I heard. What do you need?"

"You!" Berg blurted out, grabbing onto Pete's shoulders. Pete frowned harder.

"I'm sorry?"

"I mean..." Berg closed his eyes, took a final deep breath, and looked at Pete. He was still Pete. "Will you go out with me?"

Pete burst into laughter, hysterical and fluttery.

"Alright, alright, I get it." Berg took his hands off Pete's shoulders and turned away. Pete grabbed his hand. He was gasping, and his grip wasn't tight, but Berg stopped anyhow. He wasn't going to willingly not touch Pete. "Wait, Berg--" Berg turned back around. Pete gasped. "Wait, yes, I'll go-- I want to!" Pete took a breath, and then another, and eventually got himself together. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. I was just so surprised. I've liked you for years, I just never thought you were... into me."

Berg walked up to Pete, until their noses were brushing. He smiled with all his teeth. Pete smiled back. "Yeah," Berg said, and kissed him.


End file.
